Climbing Our Mountain
Life is a journey, a climb up our own personal mountain. Throughout that climb, we will be faced with adventures, trials, and obstacles that have the power to strengthen us or defeat us. It will ultimately be up to us to decide the outcome. I have had my own personal challenges as I have set out to climb my mountain. At times I have found myself making great strides with only a few slips and mis steps along the way. But I also went through a full-on rock slide that had the momentum to pull me off my mountain, slid me across the flat land, past the beaches and left me drowning in the middle of the ocean. I had fallen to the bottom and had failed. Never in my life did I think I would be in this position, and was not ready for the battle that lay ahead. At this time in my life I was going through a divorce. I had envisioned a plan for my life, and suddenly it was gone. My world came crashing down. In my mind, I was on this cookie cutter path to accomplish specific goals and fulfill standards I felt were expected of me, which I know were embellished in my mind. I put so much pressure on myself, that I didn’t know how to start to pick up the pieces. Never had I thought this could happen to me. It destroyed my inner strength causing me to lose my individuality. Unfortunately, this opened the door for numerous stumbling blocks in my life that include anxiety, PTSD, depression, an eating disorder and more. (Which I will open up about in future posts.) But the biggest trial was the loss of my good standing as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and a temple divorce. This began the hardest journey of my life. I knew in my heart what I believed to be true through the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and it was the foundation of my life. I never lost sight of that goal, however I had fallen so far off course that it seemed impossible to get back. Thus, started the marathon of the last eight years, to get myself back in good standing and to be able to go to the temple. This was a journey for me and no one else. I have a belief in God, and I knew what I wanted. But I was broken and tired, and this was going to take time. I took one step at a time and I followed the path outlined for me to get there. I had the end goal in view but kept my focus on each step before me. It took the full eight years but before I knew it I had swam to shore, crossed the beaches to the base of my mountain and had started my climb again. So, for my birthday this year, September 27, 2019, I met my goal and took myself to the Los Angeles temple. As I sat in the temple, all I could think was how grateful I was that I had made it, that I was not alone in this journey and that I was loved. This story doesn’t just apply to those who are religious. It’s a story of how we can achieve anything we put our minds too. It’s like running a marathon. You don’t just decide to run one the day before. It takes time. You have guidelines to follow for physical training, healthy eating, and mental focus. After you achieved those steps then you run the race…. one step at a time. And like all marathoners say, you get that last wind during the last few miles that pushes you to the end. And in those last moments you realize “I did it”. In the moment I realized I had reached my goal, it took me by surprise and I was speechless. A weight was lifted off my shoulders as I realized I had just defeated one of the biggest obstacles of my life and that I had done what I deemed the impossible. We all have the power to do the impossible, it is in our human nature. Too often we doubt ourselves, we doubt that we have the strength to overcome. But we do and we can. Each of us has an inner light that is unique to us. It is our own. It’s what makes you YOU! At times that light will shine bright, and other times it will be dim. We will have moments of strength and moments of weakness. But that’s okay, that’s life. As long as we remember that we have a purpose, and we take one step at a time, we can make it up that mountain. Embrace the journey.